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    Take my wife! Please.......

    1king666
    1king666


    Posts : 110
    Join date : 2008-12-13

    Take my wife! Please....... Empty Take my wife! Please.......

    Post  1king666 Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:36 am

    I've been married twenty years. I wouldn't have got that long for murdering her...

    I've never had a row with my wife. I'd like to, but I can't get a word in...

    I hold hands with the missus whenever we go out. If I let go, she buys things...

    I asked my wife why she never speaks to me dring sex, she said: there's never a phone handy...

    The wife told me her Mother was coming.
    I said I knew already. The Rats had packed up and left.

    My buddy advertised in the newspaper : "Good looking gentleman, wealthy, well travelled, looking for a wife."
    He got 1865 replies. 1864 were from men saying : "You can have mine."

    I keep my beer under her bed. It's the coldest place in the house.
    If she does open her legs, the central heating goes on.

    I phoned my wife and told her that I was thinking about the last time we had sex and was getting excited. She said, who is this?" "But I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. She's attached to a machine that keeps her alive. The refrigerator.

    The day we got married, my wife looked so good I could have eaten her all up.
    Now I wish I had.

    I have been happily married for two years. Married for 20 - happy for two....

    I told my wife during sex that she should tell me exactly what she wanted so it would be better for her. She said "Okay. Get off me".

    I always take my wife with me wherever I go.
    It saves having to kiss her goodbye.

    I once asked my wife why she screwed her eyes tightly shut when we made love. She told me that she hated seeing me enjoy myself.

    My wife ran off with my best friend. I sure miss him.

    Married for twenty years and in all those years only argued three times......Morning, noon and night........

    If I came home unexpectedly and found another bloke in bed with my wife, I'd kick his dog and break his white cane.

    My wife dresses to kill.
    She also cooks the same way.

    I was married by a judge.
    I should have asked for a jury.

    After a quarrel, my wife said to me, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
    I replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

      Current date/time is Thu Mar 28, 2024 9:06 am